Soccer quotes

What a goal by Reeves! That was straight from the top drawer - no, the wardrobe!
Nick Barnes

Both sets of players putting in the sort of effort you see from antelopes trekking across the Sahara to warmer climes.
Nick Barnes

He's managed to kick the ball out of the stadium, there will be a cow munching on it right now as we speak....
Nick Barnes

Rod Thomas disappears into a cavern-like darkness down the right hand side.
Nick Barnes

We could've taken the lead before we even scored
Peter Beardsley

He had several better options than shooting himself there
Ron Atkinson

We're back to 1-1
John Motson

17 minutes gone and already no goals.....
Ron Jones

These lads from Everton are making a one in a million trip to Wembley - for the second time in four years.
Tony Gubba

Albion are facing their stiffest task yet in the freezing hothouse at Sunderland.
Malcolm Boyden

We're flying on Concorde. That'll shorten the distance. That's self-explanatory.
Bobby Robson

What a goal by Reeves! That was straight from the top drawer - no, the wardrobe!
Nick Barnes

Luton scored in the first five minutes while Norwich were still, quite literally, finding their feet
Gerald Sinstad

Well, I think Arsenal will either win or lose the championship this year
Graham Taylor

Great save there by Snelders. The Dutchman there, stemming the dyke.
Archie Macpherson

We've got to sit down and think about where we stand.
Roy McFarland

...and now for the goals from Carrow Road, where the game ended nil-nil.
Elton Welsby

He went down like a sack of potatoes and then made a meal of it.
Trevor Brooking

No team has ever scored a goal from the stand.
Alan Hansen

In a European tie both legs are equally important, if not more important than each other.
Colin Calder

Sadly, the immortal Jackie Milburn died recently.
Cliff Morgan

Any two teams can win this match.
John Greig

Both sets of players putting in the sort of effort you see from antelopes trekking across the Sahara to warmer climes.
Nick Barnes

Rod Thomas disappears into a cavern-like darkness down the right hand side.
Nick Barnes

... the sort of goal ... that makes the hair stand up on your shoulders.
Niall Quinn

Are you out of your Vulcan mind Spock?
Dr McCoy, Star Trek (TOS) (OK, not a soccer quote, but it made me laugh)

We eventually tracked him down to Harvey Nichols in the centre of London, shopping with his in-laws. can you believe it - shopping!
Harry Redknapp
Explaining how Florin Rarucioiu really had his heart at West Ham.

I was not shopping and I have the witnesses to prove it!
Florin Rarucioiu

It's like facing Everest and we've made a start by buying a bit of camping gear to get us in the mood.
Stuart Pearce

Na na nanana na na na nanana na nana nananana na nana na nana nana Wednesday (and repeat 2000 times)
The Sheffield Wednesday Barmy Army

.................
The stay-away Carlisle United "fans" who turn up every 2 years or so for a match, that is whenever we play a big club, or other such big game.

We tried everything to get him. Maybe they offered Sharon Stone.
Ossie Ardiles Tottenham manager on losing Philippe Albert to Newcastle United

He's the only player who, when he appears on TV, Daleks hide behind the sofa.
Nick Hancock talking about Peter Beardsley on They Think It's All Over

1966 was a great year for English Football. Eric was born.
Nike advertising slogan

1995 was a great year for English Football. Eric was banned.
T-Shirt slogan on sale at Liverpool, Leeds United etc

I usually go out after a game wearing a normal suit - Versace, Armani, the same as what most of the lads wear.
David James

All players in the Premiereship have their names on their backs. This is supposedly for ease of identification but if anything it has created more confusion. Rumour has it that when Julian Dicks moved to Liverpool he picked up the No.23 shirt because it said Fowler on it.
Kevin Baldwin (author: This Supporting Life: How To Be A Real Fan)

I'd rather have Bruce Grobbelaar trying to throw a game than have Dave Beasant trying to win one.
Southampton Fan

It was like Rourke's Drift there for Asprilla - everywhere he looked, there was the enemy.
Alan Parry

I was watching Germany and as I got up to make a cup of tea I bumped into the telly and Klinsmann fell over.
Frank Skinner

Well, if anyone was going to score against Milan then it had to be a goal.
Ray Wilkins

Marcus Gayle would never have got away with being a born-again Christian had he been around when we started all this.
Vinnie Jones, Marcus' team-mate lamenting the passing of the Crazy Gang

Sometimes you have to show the world what is between your legs.
Graeme Souness

They said I had groin problems because my thighs were so big.
Alan Shearer

If I didn't perform, I was the first to get spanked. That's what happens when you have a big reputation.
Ruud Gullitt

David James, Superstar, drops more bollocks than Grobellaar.
Manchester Utd fans at the recent Liverpool - Manchester United game, following James' bad run of form.

Super Callie Fabulistic, Airdrie Are Atrocious!
A Scottish newspaper after Calledonian Thistle beat Airdrie

Many supporters say that they wouldn't stand for all-seater stadia.
Guy Michelmore

The game finely balanced, with Celtic on top...
John Greig

Some things that have never been said

For $%*&'s sake, will you shut up Jimmy!!!
Alan Hansen to Jimmy Hill on Match of the Day

The defence was superb - I couldn't fault them.
Alan Hansen

Yes.
Jimmy Hill

We love you Carlisle, we do!
Burnley fans

Hey, why don't you guys move over into that empty stand, it looks like there are too many of you in this terrace.
Stockport County Steward (see AWS match report)

Oops, yes you're right - that was a penalty.
Average referee

Rugby Commentators

We're making chances, Derek, and as long as you make chances, you've got a chance.
John Greig

The most dramatic Rugby - you couldn't have written it in Roy of The Rovers.
Nigel Starmer-Smith

I wouldn't be at all surprised if there was a shock result today
John Greig

Being seven points behind gives you a definite psychological advantage.
Alex Murphy